A young woman felt disrespected whenever her boyfriend looked at nude magazines, went to strip clubs, or watched internet pornography. Quite often his behavior remained hidden, but he would admit to it if his girlfriend confronted him. He continued doing these activities even though he knew it disgusted his girlfriend and caused her to feel undesirable. She also suspected he was masturbating when he was on the internet, but he would never admit to that.

Masturbation is a common practice among pornography enthusiasts. Hiding the activity can be because of others’ objections; in contrast, one deep-seated reason is probably because of shame. Even the most liberal person has some degree of embarrassment concerning sexual activities. It’s a core belief system which is taught to us by our parents during our formative years. Parents with traditional values teach their kids that A) sex is for marriage between a male and female, and B) pornography is bad, avoid it. When children are raised in a more permissive family system they could develop sexual ideas that can cause them problems down the road, because most individuals have a regular outlook on sexual conduct. Sometimes a child’s environment becomes terribly destructive whenever they are sexually abused. This leads to endless therapy once they become adults. (When you know, our prison system houses many sexual predators.)

Sexual activities in most forms produce a number of conscious feelings and also a multitude of sub-conscious thoughts. Since most of our behavior is guided by our sub-conscious, our actions can be tough to understand. People often spend months in therapy examining their conduct before they get to the root of their behavior. Once they finally reach the underlying source, the most common reason behind taking part in pornographic activities is fear. Surprised it was not sex? Lots of people think pornography (from the mildest to the most explicit) is approximately sex. Though it may appear that way on the outside, internally it really is all about fear. The reason being fear is just one of the most powerful motivating forces lurking in the human psyche. Our society tells us we have to look, act, smell, and think in a particular fashion in order to possess the one thing we crave the most: intimacy with another person. Look at the marketing and advertising world: Sex is a big product seller, as well as for what reason? So somebody else will think you are worthy of their affection! People that do not have “it”, what ever It’s, do not measure up. As a result, we have been forced to seek out other ways to feel good.

Most those who participate in pornographic activity are living in fear of intimacy. It’s much simpler to have a relationship with a picture than to look someone straight within the eyes and express deep feelings. The trust factor can be overwhelming to someone who is fearful. Any behavior which is thought to be unacceptable only causes more fear and hiding. The tension can destroy a relationship. For this reason, what do you do? Provide the person some space to relax. Concentrate on the qualities you admire, and ignore what you do not like. Express gratitude for the excellent you see in others (you can always find adult content it if you look hard enough). Allowing people to be who they may be will create an environment of love and acceptance, which in turn will offer a safe atmosphere where others can share their true emotions. This might feel awkward initially, because we have been conditioned to look for negativity. On the other hand, with commitment and patience, the end result are well worth the effort. The practice of allowing others to be who they can be will reduce stress and bring joy into your lives.